Possible triggers, but for those that know about my health issues, here is the latest.


New Member
Apr 22, 2015
So, I was put on home hospice because I think my Oncologist is too much of a maskhole to want to deal with me. I mean that very literally. He even once insulted me loudly in the lobby in front of nurses and patients based on me asking for a mask exemption (more on why later).

He had me on some narcotics for my cancer pain and only "suggested" good bowel care but offered NO plan or supplemental prescriptions to offset the binding up effect these narcotics have. At me first appointment discussing treatment I said I did not want narcotics. But he said "If you are afraid of getting addicted, you shouldn't be concerned, you will be on these the rest of your life."

So some time passes and my gut slows up. So gradually I barely noticed. I only noticed an increase in pain. So each subsequent doc phone appointment he increased my dose levels. Sure it helped the initial pain, but gradually made it worse because well... I NEVER HAD CANCER BEFORE. Nor have I ever been constipated let alone impacted. So I didn't know it was gut related.

My dose raised way the F**K up to where I was bound up for almost 2 weeks and in severe pain. I called them for advice. The nurse told me I needed to go to the ER immediately as that is life threatening and not a pleasant way to go.

So I tried the closest hospital. The hospital in Ilwaco. THAT was a mistake.

Backing up a bit, when I first went in for imaging in Feb of 2020 the mask s**t started. At that time I had a bad tooth infection. I had a full day of appointments and lots of waiting room sitting time. My eye got severely infected. (It still has not recovered). My local doc confirmed it was due to the prolonged mask wearing with a tooth infection. She still didn't offer a mask exemption. Just antibiotics for the eye. Which did nothing but reduce redness and pain. ANY time I cover my face, even with a helmet or face shield my eye flares up again.

Back to the story timeline:
So I go to the Ilwaco ER with my helmet on. They shoved me in a way back room isolated and then left. Took them 5 mins while I was in gut wrenching pain literally. They come back, the Jamaican doctor that is not well liked and an older nurse. They were side by side in quite an aggressive posture demanding I use a mask and take a C test. To which I was hell no. They then said they won't treat me if I don't do those things. I cited the EXACT violations of the Nuremberg code that they are violating that not many people seem to understand. They still refused. They walked away after a few back and forths and them getting a tad more verbally aggressive each time. They just walk away. No words nothing.

I sat there for a couple mins in a bit of a panic I tried my cell phone NO SIGNAL. Mind you I have been in this place BEFORE this fakedemic started and was able to use the cell. So I went in FULL panic. I wheeled myself out to the hall after calling for the nurse with no answer. She met me at the hall opening standing distant. I said if they are refusing to treat me against my human rights as a person in need of valid medical treatment I need it in writing. She argued that they were not refusing. I said then where is my treatment. She said they can't if I won't test and wear a mask. I said THAT IS YOU REFUSING TO TREAT ME based on requiring an involuntary medical procedure and my not complying with the use of a medical device. AGAINST the WWII trials. If I recall it is article 6 section 3. (It's been a while and my current state of medically induced ick has my memory fogged on that detail.)

She would NOT give me anything in writing clarifying why they won't treat me. (maybe they have been trained in this scenario for people who aren't f**king stupid sheep?). They / she knew I could use that against them when/if I survive this war against humanity that IS HAPPENING! So I tell her I do not feel safe and I need to leave. (The way they walked off was eerie like they were going to call in the Gestapo and hold me down to do testing and s**t. I was in quite a panic. She said sure as long as I sign a form stating I am leaving against medical advice. I said you got to be kidding me. I need out NOW! Which she opened the door and offered zero assistance. I was having a hell of a time operating the wheelchair.

At the door I was stuck, I saw Mr. Doctor in street cloths like he was leaving for the day. He avoided me like a leper. I was trying to maneuver the chair out the door, zero help from even a second nurse that was in the lobby nor him.

I finally get outside and get stuck in the edging off the sidewalk, so I said hell with it and used my cane to stumble to my truck about 50 feet away. Zero offers of assistance even tho I was obviously in serious trouble. No staff, no bystanders NOTHING. I get halfway to my truck and look back, they made sure to get the wheelchair tho! I get to my truck after quite a bit and had to relax there to calm the pain to drive. I tried the cell, NO SIGNAL.

I said ok enough, I got to get out of here. I drove like 4 to 6 blocks away STILL NO SIGNAL. I had to get a half mile away to finally get signal. WTF is this?

Anyway I call my GF told her what happened and came home. About a 10 min drive or so.

(long writeup goes over forum character limit, part 2 in comments)


New Member
Apr 22, 2015
I get part the way home and had to pull off. I called the nurse at my Oncology to explain to her what happened. They are located 45 mins away in a different Hospital complex. So that is why I tried this one first. So she said they require masks and sometimes testing as well. So I again, cited the Nuremberg code and asked her if this is America still? I said if they can't help me I am NOT dying of a rotted gut due to poor prescription management of my doctor. I told her that she needs to get him to set up the Death with Dignity NOW. (This is WA state btw, yes I am a conservative, but this is one thing I do happen to agree with on the other side. THE RIGHT TO CHOOSE TO DIE PEACEFULLY ON OUR OWN TERMS).

She says there isn't much she can do and ended the call. I finished getting home.

Once I got home, she called me back. Said she organised with the Hospital ER that she is affiliated with and that I can be admitted. I just need to wait outside and call them when I arrive so they can "clear the way". Even tho I find this absolutely ridiculous, it was at least something. So off I went for a gut wrenching 45 min drive.

I get there and call them. I wait about 25 mins and get admitted. After a physical exam and brief recount of everything the attending physician suggested they may need surgery and imaging. I'm like wait what? I have only been on passive laxatives. No stimulant laxatives have been attempted yet. Surgery are you kidding me after poking around that is what you say? I asked why not just do imaging and see. He said they won't image without the possibility of surgery being open on the table. I said, we have NOT tried any stimulant laxatives and this was brought on by a medication drying out my intestines. Not some freakin rupture or rotted gut because my vitals are all FINE!

He goes to the supervising doc and the Sup agreed with me. Sent me home with some fun stuff that worked ALL TOO WELL after 8 hours. But the blockage did not fully clear. I had to stop cold turkey on my pain meds for like 3 days to get it to pass. The freakin withdrawals OMG. But it passed and I took a minimal dose again to stop the withdrawals. Oddly, now that my gut was clear, the minimal dose WAS fine on my cancer pain. Imagine that!

So all that aside. I tried to call my Oncologist to let them know it passed but there is still an issue with my meds. This CAN'T keep happening. I got no answer nor call back till the next day.

The call I got back was, the nurse telling me the doc is sending me through hospice. No consult with me nothing. Like he is just getting rid of me. Like he was informed of the mask and testing issue. After the first maskhole issue with him being rude and condescending in his lobby and laughing at me asking for an exemption...I figured ok I guess I should have seen that coming eventually. The doc did however prescribe me a passive type laxative during all this. Which really did nothing.

So I get a first consult with Hospice. They won't cover the meds I was on. They also have a binding contract of sorts that ALL medical goes through them. Meaning doc consults, emergencies, meds, everything. So any outside consults can be contract breaking or out of pocket as insurance binds to them only at this point.

So they switch me to another med which is a tad weaker but HIGHLY potent. So it had to be a higher dose. I told her about my blockage and that I quit my meds to get it to actually pass. Also told her that to curb withdrawals and get some pain relief I took a minimal dose. I guess they don't care. They put me on a dose that matched what I was most recently prescribed which is TOO DAMN HIGH. But they gave me more bowel care.

I BOUND UP AGAIN! Second time in 3 weeks time! This time was horrific pain. Again I had to stop taking the meds. Sure as hell, 2 days later massive withdrawals and I clear up as well.

So since then (which has been about a week now) I am in absolute "I just want to die" misery. My gut is in knots. I have recently lost (within 6 months) 10 pounds, 5 of which was in the last week. Back and forth inability to go then suddenly gotta go like NOW! The bowel care meds make me feel like I drank a bucket of oil and leave me feeling ick ALL the time. I get this instead of mild to moderate cancer pain??

I tell the nurse I AM DONE with narcotics. But she still has some sent to me. No options, no alternate meds nothing. Except some steroid med that has side effects of increased chances of infections and existing infections getting worse, eye problems etc.... YEA JUST what I need. Also just increased dosages of the bowel meds which leave me feeling sick and groggy. If I wanted to feel this way I would have done chemo and radiation. BUT I do not want to. I was freakin FINE minus a few tumors in some bad painful places before all this stupid narcotic BS. I even replaced the starter on my 4x4 Surburban before all this happened. Granted it wasn't easy...but damned if I could do that now with what their damn meds have done to me. I have never been afraid of dying. I have only been afraid of the HOW. THIS IS THE HOW I HAVE BEEN AFRAID OF. It is medicinally induced even.

I have gone through 2 horrific withdrawal periods against my will in my opinion due to negligent care and I get ignored and not listened to? Now I am facing yet ANOTHER withdrawal period because the nurse had me started on this crappy med that I am not fully over?

I had a doctor start me on these for cancer pain and I can't stand it. I am getting the hell off of it period somehow. Pisses me off that this new version makes your body dependent on it. Mentally I can drop it like it isn't even there. But my god the Bell curve withdrawals are horrific.

I seriously can not understand WHY someone would willingly take this crap then go through this each time they can't get a fix. PLEASE DON'T DO IT IF YOU NEVER HAVE!

I am at the point where I am trying to figure out how in WA state to initiate the death with dignity process with a medical system so far up the fakedemic designers ars that they can't see daylight. Not to mention the nurse told me it is around 3 to 5 grand out of pocket. So I guess you can only "legally" choose to die if you are well off too right?

But now I am going to try to figure out how to survive this last round of withdrawals and then get thc based pain relief (edibles or pills/whatever) and get the death pills. Once THC can't make life bearable, I am gone. poof see ya. The trouble is affording it and trying to figure out how to leave behind enough money so my tiny family and my birds can survive. Speaking of birds. My hens have been glued to me this entire time. The one that has been the more aggressive one and slightly standoffish to me has been very much a mother hen to me. They know something is up and it isn't good.

Currently I am in the middle of withdrawals that I did not want and worried about my GF's ability to pay for my passing and get stable. This is too damn much.


New Member
Apr 20, 2018
I'm sorry you to had to go through that ordeal, I hope and pray you are doing/feeling better my good man. I have family and friends who work in the healthcare field and I've heard many stories both good and bad. Unfortunately there are people that work in that profession that don't care about the patients, but on the flip-side there are good, hard working staff that have good hearts and treat patients like human beings and not cattle....
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